Living Trust
Planning for Aging Parents
Many of us require or will need some assistance as we age and lose some facets of our independence. When an older person starts to need help, more often than not, it’s close family that steps in. Commonly, it’s adult children or grandchildren who manage an increasing need for support. Helping an older parent can bring up many different issues that adult children haven’t considered in the past and it can be overwhelming. Often not knowing exactly what their parent needs and how they can help. Estate Planning is one such consideration.
Sometimes, the first time we are contacted by a family is by an adult child concerned about their parents’ planning or more often than not, the lack of.
If the parent suffers from early stages of dementia, the child may have some urgency to ensure they have incapacity planning done before the disease advances. In other cases, there may be a history of chronic health issues that are taking a toll and the child wants to know more about the parent’s end of life choices & wishes for their funeral. Or it may be that the child wants to ensure they protect the estate from Probate and prevent family disputes from arising. There are countless other reasons why adult children contact our office, championing their parents to get their affairs in order.
Before scheduling a personal consultation to meet with an attorney, the adult child typically needs to prepare by having a conversation with their parent and provide support with organization and paperwork.
Talking to parents about estate planning can be difficult and emotional. It’s sometimes easy to avoid these conversations and put them off to another day. If your parent(s) doesn’t have an up-to-date estate plan, it’s time to take action while they still can. If your mother or father is disabled without an incapacity plan or dies intestate (without a Will), there could be added emotional and financial strain for the entire family.
Here are some tips to support you with supporting your parents with their estate planning.
Create a Plan for Your Conversation
Make a list of the topics you want to discuss and the questions you have. If appropriate, share this list with other members of your close family, such as your siblings, and if appropriate, your parent's grandchildren. When ready, let your parent(s) know what you want to discuss and why. This may take several conversations, especially with emotional topics we haven't given much thought to, there may be a lot to process. Remember to be gentle, loving and patient while ensuring the support they receive is empowering their choices.
Have the Estate Planning Conversation
Try to set a specific date and time for the conversation with your parents. This gives everyone time to mentally prepare and emotionally process before the first discussion. There may be multiple "talks" you schedule, but start slow and don't overwhelm them. Here are some other questions and considerations to add to your list.
In fact, you can help them prepare for their personal estate planning consultation by discussing the following with them, so they've given it some thought before they sit down with an attorney.
Do they have a Pre-Existing Will or Trust?
Determine if they have an old Will or an up-to date plan. Sometimes we're surprised to find old documents no one knew about. If their plan is over 3 years old, it's time for it to be revised and updated to ensure it's a reflection of their current wishes.
Discuss Powers of Attorney & Incapacity Planning.
Have they appointed someone already to manage their financial affairs and make medical decisions on their behalf if they are incapacitated? If not, support them with determining who the best fit would be. Also ask about their end-of-life wishes. A medical or Advance Health Care Directive allows them to state the type of care they would like, how they feel about artificial life support and other forms of life sustaining treatments.
What Are Their Wishes for Their Funeral & Bodily Remains?
What are their wishes for their funeral or memorial and desires for their bodily remains? The disposition of remains is how a person's body is handled after death (burial, cremation, etc.) and can often be influenced by religious beliefs, values, family traditions, not to mention personal preference. Don't forget to ask about their organ donation status.
Select Key Players in Your Parents’ Estate Plan
Talk to your parents about who the essential people are in in their lives and who they would want to have a role in the creation, implementation and administration of their estate and death plan. They get to choose the team of professionals, family members and friends who will support them in ensuring their estate plan is set up and is a reflection of their values and beliefs. This team becomes the foundation on which a solid estate plan is built.
This can include:
- Family Members
- Estate Planning Attorney
- Doctors
- Financial Planner
- CPA or Accountant
- Insurance Broker
- Religious or Spiritual Ministers
- Close friends
3. Support with Financial Organization
Ask about Insurance Policies:
Ask about the type of policies your parents have in place. This may include Life Insurance, Health Insurance, Home Insurance, Long-term Care Insurance, Disability Insurance and even Funeral Insurance. Determine who the insurance brokers are and contact details.
Request access to your Parent's Tax Returns:
Confirm where you can find all of these documents. If planning or death administration become difficult, you may need to access these.
Make a list of all their financial accounts:
This may include bank, mutual funds, credit cards, homeowner's association, mortgage, etc.
How the Attorneys at Legacy APC in San Diego, CA Can Support Your Aging Parents with Estate Planning
If you are an adult child who is now a caretaker for your parents or even just a support system helping them navigate today’s digital world to find professional help, you can count on Legacy APC. Supporting seniors and our clients through the legal challenges of the aging process is one of our passions and strengths. Caretaking is difficult enough. We want to make it easier, relieve stress and provide peace of mind, so you and your parents can focus on making the most of their twilight years.
To schedule your free personal consultation, please call our office (619) 696-0778 today or schedule your free consultation Online.